A to the Z

As I said in my last post, I spent Thanksgiving and today at the Grand Canyon, which has been a very relaxing break. Well, once I figured out where to go to avoid some of the crowds. I've had the pleasure of going to a handful of National Parks on this trip, and I have to say that the people here are the most aggressive viewers of nature I've ever encountered. Which is scary, because there's not a giant guardrail all the way around the rim of the Canyon. It seems like a lot of people come just to get a picture, and God help anyone standing in their way. So it was hard to find a spot to sit and look at it and just take it in. But the Canyon itself is so spectacular, and I even caught the sunrise this morning, which was...wow. I took some photos, but I feel like it's one of those "you had to be there" things, so that's all I'll say about that. Tomorrow I'm hitting the road for the two-day drive to Austin, where I'm going to be staying with my brother Mike.

My 10 days in Arizona have been the most challenging and the most rewarding of this entire trip. I've had a great time, but it hasn't been all sunshine and retirement. It's been a week of hilarious pranks, deaths in the family, serving the poor, recurring cancer, timeless romance, eating disorders, and of course, football highs and lows...In the past week, I've interviewed twelve people, four of whom broke down crying while telling me about things they've suffered in their lives. I even cried during one interview. Bob Horn ('60, '63) basically relived the day his son drowned 30 years ago, then described how that's affected his entire life. The story was so horrific, and so unexpected, I just sat there holding the mic with my mouth open and tears rolling down my cheeks. Bob pretty much kept it together, and the interview kept going just fine. I know that's not very professional, and I don't intend to make a habit of it, but when someone is telling a story like that, I'm not really sure that being professional should be my most important concern. Most of the people I'm interviewing, especially lately, are people I've gotten to know and genuinely like. I've gone to lunch with them, stayed at their houses, hung out with their families, etc. Because of the eat, sleep and breathe nature of this project, sometimes it's hard for me to be detached from my subjects. And I know that might sound cold, and I'm not trying to say I would rather not be friends with them—I've gotten so much out of knowing the people I've met on this trip, and they've gotten to know me, too. But it can be confusing to interview friends, and often I feel like I'm walking a fine line with that.

So it feels good to get away for awhile and have some time to myself to decompress, and think, and be outside, and watch some of the CSI: Miami marathon on A&E. I just learned that bath salts conduct electricity more efficiently than if you just take a regular bath and then drop the toaster in. It's a good show, but someone needs to tell David Caruso to quit taking his sunglasses off in what he apparently thinks is a bad-ass manner. Trust me, dude, it's not.

Phoenix: Community Service, Love Stories, and The Pig-Faced Satan

I'm posting today from Williams, AZ, outside the Grand Canyon, where I've been taking a little break. I drove up here yesterday from Phoenix, where I'd stayed in three different places: a home for unwed mothers founded by an ND alumna a few years ago and currently staffed by ND grads, an '04 almuna's apartment, and the home of Tyra and Corey Babington. Both of them are Domers, and Tyra is the president of the Phoenix club. It was a bit of an abrupt transition from my brush with retirement in Tucson—I went out with people my age, stayed up late, and didn't eat at a single country club—but I was very well taken care of in each place.

Maggie's Place is a home for unwed mothers who would otherwise be on the streets because of their financial situations. The mothers typically move in while they're pregnant and then leave 6 months after they give birth. I got to meet some moms and babies, and I interviewed a couple of recent grads about their work. The staff live at the house and work to make MP as much of a home as possible, and they're kind of moms to the moms, which can be a bit awkward, since they're usually younger. I interviewed Sarah Smith and Madeline Heck, and I was so impressed with them. They're both a few years younger than I am, but they have clearly learned a lot in their time at MP. Their job is to live on site 24/7 and create a community of loving support for the moms, many of whom have past substance abuse problems, issues with their babies' fathers, etc. Madeline summed it up best: "Love is going to the hospital in the middle of the night with a mom who thinks she's going into labor, even though you know she isn't." Wow.

I went out with the staff and stayed over at MP on Saturday night, then on Sunday I went to stay with Leslie Pechkurow, an '04 grad who insisted that I sleep in her bed and eat what was in the fridge. Leslie is one of those cool people who is plugged into every socket in the wall: among other things, she's in grad school for counseling at ASU, she works a job and an internship, and she volunteers for her church's youth group. Her interview was also really impressive—I may already have said this, but it's so inspiring to me to talk to young alumni who are doing so much good and really seem to have it together.

On Tuesday I spent the afternoon with Bob and Kay Sanford, who dated back before Bob graduated in 1940, then lost touch, then found each other again after 29 years. They've now been married for almost 40 years. Classic—and they tell the story much better than what I just wrote! Bob's two ND claims to fame, aside from one of the greatest romance stories ever, are that he has been class secretary for the class of 1940 since he graduated, giving him the most class write-ups of any other class secretary (most of the older guys inherited the job from someone else), and he still holds the Featherweight Championship in the Bengal Bouts--they stopped boxing featherweight after his sophomore year :)

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday night at the Babingtons, and I had a great time. After a brief tour of the house, Corey and I sat down and talked ND football for two hours. Not about this season, of course, but Corey's freshman year was 1989, and he actually was friends with Rocket Ismail and Tony Rice. The Rocket even told him the locker room story of the 1988 Miami game, which I had never heard before, though maybe some readers of this blog have. For those of you unfamiliar with ND football history, in 1988, when I was 8 years old, the Irish won the National Championship, with Rice at qb and Rocket as our punt returner/running back/wide receiver/what can he not do. The guy was INCREDIBLE--even now when I watch the tape on YouTube (yes, I watch the tape on YouTube), I can't get over how fast he was. I used to daydream that girls would be allowed to play when I got to college, and Lou Holtz would recruit me to play with the Rocket. The idea that he would graduate, or that I would completely lack hand-eye coordination when I got older, never occurred to me. Anyway, in 1988, Miami came to ND for what became known as Catholics vs. Convicts. The Hurricanes were coached by Jimmy Johnson, known around campus as The Pig-Faced Satan (hey, I'm just telling it like it was.) Anyway, Miami was #1, and they were known for intimidating their opponents before the game. In that spirit, they came out of the tunnel and ran through our players' pregame workout. The Irish weren't having it, and the brawl that ensued was ugly. According to the Rocket, when they got back to the locker room, the players were a little worried about what Lou would say, because he did not like any shenanigans on or off the field. But Lou just looked around, told them he didn't think they needed much of a pregame talk, but just go out there, play hard, and take them down, but "save Jimmy Johnson's butt for me." The players were so amped up that they actually broke the locker room door down and went out and won 31-30 in what many consider to be the greatest game ever played at Notre Dame Stadium. ND has had many great football teams, but that's the team I grew up with, and as you can probably tell by reading this, I could talk about them all day. So Corey and I hit it off right away, and when Tyra came home the three of us just hung out and ate pizza and drank beer and had a great time. I got to interview them the next night after eating the best lasagna I've ever had in my life (the secret ingredient: cream cheese instead of ricotta--so good!), and it was another fantastic how we met story, plus it turns out Tyra didn't learn about football until after they got married (after she graduated), and now she even has her own fantasy team. How cool is that?

The next morning, they were off to San Francisco for the Stanford game, and I headed up to the Grand Canyon. More soon.

When I grow up, I want to be retired.

Last Tuesday, I drove from L.A. to Tucson, stopping in Palm Desert along the way to interview John Manion. John is the secretary for the class of '56, which has kind of adopted me and my project, which has been AWESOME. I have spoken with a '56er in nearly every city I've gone to, and members of the class are always calling and sending me encouraging emails. Say it with me: Awwww...Anyway, the '56ers are in very close touch, due in large part to John's weekly emails and monthly newsletter, and it was fun to see his HQ/command center, which includes a 6-ft. signed portrait of Knute Rockne. For real.

Four hours later, I was back on the road, and by that time, it was getting late. I watched the sun set over the mountains in California, then headed on in the dark to Tucson, where I was to stay with Vin and Peg Boyen. Vin and Peg are native New Yorkers who retired to AZ a few years ago, and their house is basically their dream Western-style home. The next morning, I woke up and went out on the back patio, and there in front of me was this amazing desert paradise. First of all, it was 70 degrees and sunny, and then there were all these cacti and a perfect view of the Catalina Mountains. It was so different from anything I've ever seen, and so beautiful that it actually seemed fake, if that makes any sense. I guess I mean it felt that weird to be there, especially since I'd made the topographical transition in the dark. This is my first time ever in Arizona, and I really wasn't expecting to like it so much. It immediately called to mind this great moment in Lawrence of Arabia, where this journalist asks Lawrence what he likes about the desert, and he says, "I like it because it's clean." Which is kind of counter-intuitive, since it's all dusty, but it's really true; it's so hot in the sun, even in November, and the dust actually absorbs or blows over anything that's out there for long that isn't alive. And it turns out that dry heat means my hair looks perfect every day--bonus!

I showed up in Tucson on the right day, because the ND Club was having their monthly luncheon. So I went and met a bunch of people and filled up my schedule for the next few days. And then I spent the rest of the day touring Tucson with Vin. He took me to Saguaro National Park, which is basically a forest of cacti in the mountains. I think my eyes were popping out of my head, and I was giving Katie Holmes a run for her money on the "amazing" front, which he and Peg got a real kick out of. Then we went back to the house and had a glass of wine while watching the sun set over the mountains. The Boyens were so awesome, and they introduced me to a bunch of their friends. So for a few days, I got to be part of the Cool Retired Guys and Their Awesome Wives Club. And I found out that when you retire, you pretty much get to do some of the most enjoyable things in life—reading, going to the movies, eating at nice restaurants, taking naps, Sunday crosswords—all the time. Makes me wish I had a 401k...

Smells like burning

**I want to preface this entry by letting those of you who have been calling and emailing know: I promise I'm not avoiding you, I've just been on the road a lot this week, and this is the first time I've gotten to check my email this week. I'll try to catch up over Thanksgiving, but please be patient with me!**

Last week I stayed in Redlands, CA, just east of L.A., home of the University of Redlands and of my friend Laura who teaches there. It was great to stay with someone whose first words when I arrived were, "You can just go ahead and explode in the room upstairs tomorrow, but for now why don't you just go to bed?" Phew—none of that having to be personable for a few minutes when I'm really just dying to go to sleep! Laura was an excellent hostess, and while I was in town she even scored us a tour of the local NPR/PBS station in San Bernardino with her friend Dave who works there and is somewhat of a local celebrity. For comparison for those of you in Portland, he's their Irwin Gratz, or maybe more like their Justin Ellis on the radio. Very cool.

My week or so in L.A. was a lot of catch-up work and actually not too many interviews. Given the layout of the city, it's basically impossible to be centrally located, and it's tough to get in more than two interviews in one day because of the distances involved. I talked to two lawyers in downtown L.A. on Wednesday. I wish I had known ahead of time how high security the downtown offices are: Not only are you not allowed to take the elevator without a pass (which I've seen in other cities), but you're not allowed to even walk in the general direction of the elevator without being yelled at by a sniper. Ok, maybe he was unarmed, but he definitely ran at me in a fearless, I've-been-trained-to-kill manner. Apparently L.A. thinks the next 9/11 will be perpetrated by a young woman with a camera blowing up a downtown law firm. In their defense, I was carrying a backpack, and after the traffic hassles I'd endured to get there, I probably looked suicidal. Anyway, both interviews went well, so it was worth all of it. I got to hear more great getting to and from ND stories, and I talked to a guy whose son-in-law is part of the WGA, which just went on strike last week and hopefully will come back soon so I can see new episodes of The Office when I watch TV.

On Thursday I went down to Oceanside, which is down near San Diego, to interview Joe Leaser. Joe and his wife Liz were really fun to talk to, and their house had an amazing view of the ocean and the fire-devastated hills. They were lucky enough to avoid evacuation, particularly since they're both diabetic and two of their dogs are blind, but the surrounding area is full of charred trees and ravaged land. It was stunning, and the smell was actually a bit overwhelming. The fires had been out for almost a week when I got there, but the air quality in most of L.A. and down by Oceanside was still pretty bad, especially for me since I hadn't been acclimated to it as it happened. That evening, I went to Dana Point for dinner with the Kheriaty family. Aaron was a good friend of my brother Dave when he was at ND, and now he's teaching psychiatry at UC Irvine, where he runs an institute that studies issues of psychiatry and spirituality. I won't elaborate too much, but I will say I want to do that, too. Here's the link if you want to find out more: http://today.uci.edu/Features/profile_detail.asp?key=300
Aaron and his wife Jen have three young sons, all of whom proved mroe skillful with my camera than I am. It was a fun shoot.

I had the most amazing weekend after that. First of all, I took two days in a row completely off from work. I went to Santa Monica to watch ND get pounded by Air Force. Yes, Air Force. But it was ok, because I was with my friend Andrew, with whom I have witnessed many sad Notre Dame debacles. Andrew and I were good friends as undergrads, and now he's doing his residency in emergency medicine at the UCLA hospital. He gave me a quick tour of UCLA, which has a beautiful campus, and then the two of us headed down to Laguna Niguel, where I was spending the night with my friend (and former Portland roommate) Rebecca, who just happened to be in town on business, staying at the Ritz Carlton. On the beach. Talk about fortuitous timing! Andrew, Rebecca, Rebecca's friend Tom (a fellow philosophy nerd, yea!), and I went out to dinner, and then headed back to the hotel for some fun and games...now you may be wondering, what do four intelligent, fun, interesting young people do on a Saturday night at the Ritz? Buy a cheap bottle of wine at the grocery store and play football in the public parking lot down the road, of course! Andrew used his well-honed ND skills to open the wine without a corkscrew, and then the two of us regaled the Davidson grads with tales of football Saturdays, and they told us all about their library. A truly entertaining evening, followed by a good night's sleep in the world's largest bed at the Ritz. Where they put the ocean on flatsrceen TV so you can fall asleep to the sound of the waves. Seriously.

So I enjoyed my time in southern California, and I know my friends there won't take it the wrong way when I say that it takes a special kind of crazy to live out there. With all the fires, earthquakes, mudslides, floods, droughts and ants, Los Angeles is a microcosm of the Apocalypse. And that would be the Apocalypse plus traffic that can strike at any moment, turning a perfectly nice trip to the grocery store into a harrowing trek through the desert, and the smog that makes every day feel like you're watching an episode of the Brady Bunch. Oh, and I'm leaving out the flagrant materialism; the contrast between rich and poor in L.A. was truly shocking. Like, brand new Ferraris next to old pickup trucks on the freeway shocking. I think I'm the wrong kind of crazy for that area, but I'm glad 8 million people seem able to make it work.

Anyway, I'm already in Tucson as I write this—more soon!

It's not the driving, it's the parking...

After a long week of work in San Francisco, I was really psyched to have a nice, relaxing a day off and hang out in the city before heading down to L.A. on Sunday. On Saturday I'd planned to meet up with Barry, a friend of a friend who is also an ND grad, and spend the day with him and some other young alums (including my friend Maureen, whom I hadn't seen since college) watching the game and then seeing some sights. At the end of the night, we planned to go see a show, and I parked in the neighborhood where the show was, thinking it would be nice to just get in the car and go home at the end of the night.

Then ND lost to Navy for the first time in 43 years. Ouch. Barry, Maureen, Derrick, Ben and I allayed our sorrow with a driving tour of the city. It was another perfectly clear and sunny day, and we entertained ourselves by reenacting a few scenes from Bullitt. I should mention that I was not driving (Dad) as my car was parked in the aforementioned garage all day, so Barry played the role of Steve McQueen. It was great fun, and after dropping Maureen off, we all went out for sushi and then headed to the show. Dropkick Murphys played a good show, wild, loud, etc., and terrible opening act aside, we all had a great time. All in all, a great day. And then we went to go get my car. *sigh*

Long story short, despite the repeated assurances of the garage attendant that the garage was open 24 hours, it was closed when we got there. And we were told it wasn't going to open until 6:30 the next morning. Fortunately, the guys were really cool about it, and I slept on Barry's couch, and then we got up at 6 the next morning to go get the car so I could head out. Oh, but the night-time phone operator apparently was never told that the garage doesn't open at 6:30 on Sundays--it opens at 10. So I was pretty much ready to kick the door in, but Barry had the presence of mind to suggest breakfast, which turned out much better. We took the driving tour of the city part two, then ate at this great diner called Mama's that is so popular people line up an hour before it opens. And when you have an hour to kill, why not? We had a nice breakfast, did the Chronicle crossword, and it turned out to be a relaxing Sunday morning. When we went to get my car, I was tired and feeling gross after sleeping in my clothes (I hate sleeping in my clothes!), and I was still fuming at the garage and couldn't resist suggesting new signage when the attendant pointed out the sign that tells you, in 12-point font, that they are under new management and the garage closes at 10:30 pm on weekends. But I was actually feeling ok about how it had all turned out, and I had a fantastic time in San Francisco, even with all the parking drama. The city is absolutely beautiful, and the people I met there took really good care of me. And not to sound trite, but as I turned the corner to drive back to Palo Alto and shower, I saw a homeless guy waking up on the sidewalk, which puts spending one night in your clothes on a friend's couch into perspective.

So that was my San Francisco adventure. After all of that, I hurried back to Palo Alto, showered, packed, and headed down to Aptos, CA, near Santa Cruz, to interview Christine Fahrenbach, class of '82. To be honest, I was tempted to call and cancel, because I was really tired, and at this point it was 1:30 and it takes about 7 hours to get to L.A. But I am SO GLAD that I didn't, because it was such a phenomenal interview. Christine is such an amazing woman, very intelligent, very articulate, and so spiritual, and not in a hokey kind of way. She told me that she has just always had this natural curiosity about God and has always understood herself as being very close to him, and I was impressed because that was so evident from the moment I met her. She was refreshingly positive--not bubbly, thank God, I was SO not in the mood for bubbly--but just open and so comfortable in her own skin that it was an easy interview with a lot of depth. I know I'm not describing this very well. Sorry, that's the best I can do, but as I left her house, I actually felt as though I had just woken up from a really restful nap. Which was a good thing, because it was a long drive.

The San Francisco treat

I just got in to LA after a whirlwind week in San Francisco. As those of you that I've been able to talk to in the past few weeks are aware, I was pretty worried about this segment of the trip. Which just means more worried than usual, right? I'd had a bit of trouble getting in touch with the SF Bay Area Club, and I was concerned that their members didn't know about the project. And as it turns out, I was right, but fortunately I ended up getting in touch with the right people, and I got what I think are some of the best interviews of the trip so far in SF.

Highlights from my first few days in San Fran:

—On Wednesday I got to have lunch with Kerry Seed, known to most of you at Salt, Blunt, etc. He was kind enough to take a break from his grad work at Berkeley to come meet me for lunch in Oakland. For those of you who don't know him, Kerry is a very talented journalist and radio producer (check out his work at http://www.kerryseed.org/), and he's helped me out more than once when I had trouble with my stuff. It was great to catch up and hear about some of his grad school projects, and as it turns out one of his profs at Berkeley is a ND alumna. She gave a fantastic interview later that afternoon, the first interview in which my subject carved a pumpkin, which made for some fun photos.

—Halloween was all the rage in SF, and not just the costumes. People on the radio were calling in to tell ghost stories and tell all about their haunted houses, which makes me wonder why I was listening to the radio. But it also turned out to be further confirmation of my deep-seated belief that I myself am haunted...by John Mellencamp. I cannot turn on the radio, in any part of the country, any day of the week, without hearing that icon of the perpetual midlife crisis and his hoarse vocals. Such is the peril of my existence.

—On Thursday I interviewed Larry Soletti, the former president of the Alumni Association, who had not only good stories and great recommendations, but also...a puffin! Well, a little puffin statue on his mantle, a souvenir of one of his trips to Iceland (of course I asked!) He also has the same GPS I do, and he calls her Sibyl, too! I've found my soulmate :) Then we went to a lunch attended by a bunch of East Bay alums, and I met a couple older guys that I spent the afternoon interviewing. I hung out with Jim and Jane Gillis for about 4 hours. Jim played baseball at ND, then joined the FBI, then became a sportscaster, and Jane is from the Bend originally, and grew up on the same street I did. Jim just published his autobiography, so he had plenty of stories fresh in his mind (one of which involved meeting Mel Allen!), and then I helped them figure out how to use their GPS. It was the least I could do.

—Friday was my favorite day in the Bay Area. It was a perfectly clear day, and after an early-morning interview at Stanford, I got to go into San Francisco for the first time since I'd gotten to the Bay Area. I talked to Ted Weber, a '45 grad who was a student of Frank O'Malley's and had actually saved his old papers on which O'Malley had written notes. For those of you non-Domers: Frank O'Malley is one of the famous "bachelor dons," single laymen who lived in the dorms and spent a lot of time with their students. O'Malley started a prestigious club that would discuss literature, films, culture, etc., and many people took that club even more seriously than an actual class. He also famously (or infamously) had a pretty serious drinking problem. But he was beloved by his students, and I've found that his students are among the most interesting people I've ever met. Ted was no exception. And he had a spectacular view of San Francisco from the window of his apartment. All in all, a great time. Then I drove up to Tiburon to speak with Dr. Angelo Capozzi, a plastic surgeon who travels the world doing reconstructive surgery for children in third world countries. When I talked to him on the phone to schedule the interview, he warned me that I would have to take the Golden Gate Bridge to get there. And I said, "Oh, well if I have to..." He lived in one of the coolest houses I've ever seen, with a two-level patio overlooking the bridge, the city, and the bay. And he had one of the most amazing "how I got to ND" stories I've heard so far—I think he's the first person who has actually cried in an interview for this project. It was really touching.

And then that night, I met up with my cousin Jim and his girlfriend Dawn for dinner at a great little Mexican place in their neighborhood, and I got to hear all about their 2-month trip to India. It was the best time! I'd never met Dawn before, but it turns out she's a very talented artist who, among other things, writes and illustrates children's books. I was very impressed.

Anyway, as you can tell by reading this, and by the fact that I haven't written in awhile, I've been really busy with work lately. I'll write more about the disastrous, hilarious day off that followed all of this later.